help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
