i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
you inspire me to be a worse person
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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