Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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