Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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