i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Randomize
