What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
