last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
