Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize