Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
