I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
