It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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