she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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