i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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