Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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