so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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