somebody snuck up and got me drunk
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Randomize
