The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize