An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize