Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
