theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Drunk is not a location!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
