And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize