office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
