he wants to bone in the snuggie
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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