If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
