just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
