I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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