Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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