hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
