Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
