It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
worst night to have a conscience
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
