Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
