you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
