Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
whose ass print is on the piano?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
