Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
