The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
