No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
