IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
