If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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