I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
