why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
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