no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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