I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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