You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
And then he peed in my hair
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