They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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