Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
