Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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