so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
