im gay
i know
yea but for you.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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