is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I believe in your delicious
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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