Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I have demons in me.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
