am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize