I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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