hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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