I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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