and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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