where am i from again
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
