You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
