So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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