She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
