Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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