Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
