I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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