I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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