Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize