woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
