Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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