Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
That's intense
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize